What If?
by wolverinacullen
Summary: What if Edward had been partly right? AU story, now multi-chapter!
1. Preface

**What If-?**

**What if Edward was partly right? (AU)**

**VPOV**

What if he didn't really love me? It was a thought that had run through my mind over and over again.

I'd been his best friend for years. We'd always loved each other, but sometimes, I was sure my feelings were different. For months after James had first become a vampire, I'd cried myself to sleep over him. How my warm, loving, good best friend who I needed like an absolute drug, who I'd secretly loved for years, had become cold and heartless. My heart had always ached, and my pain still ebbed from my heart even as I looked into his crimson eyes. He still had a soul, I had to believe that. He was still my James, he had to be.

_Every time I'd hear the words in his change, my tears would run free. Part of my soul had been taken from me. With him changed, part of me had died. Never so much in my life had I cried._

Tears streamed down my face when we talked, and I kept my voice even, keeping away my emotions. I hated it, but it just wasn't me.

"Vicky?" he asked quietly, touching my shoulder, "Ready?"

The cold of his hand made me want to shiver, but the tears were already falling, "As I'll ever be."

He took a hold of my chin, making me look at him. His soul flashed across his eyes for a moment before that fateful bite. Maybe he really would love me once I was like him. I didn't know, it was too soon to tell. It was still another 'what if'.

_End_


	2. Chapter 1

**(Congrats Laura, my plot bunny came to make this story a multi-chapter! I hope all who read like! Victoria is a human and James is a vampire, just to clear up the AU. Italics are flashback)**

Chapter 1

The sound of the phone ringing woke me up. It was a Saturday. I looked at the calendar, counted backwards in my head. Two weeks and a day. How was it possible it had been such a short time ago? It already felt like a lifetime...apparently, while my mother was picking up the phone, getting the call that would change our lives for the better, I grabbed my phone and texted him. What was wrong with me? Hell if I knew.

_Two weeks ago, and I hadn't seen James since Monday at school. We were both seniors, but he was enrolled late, then held back, making him twenty and me a pathetic eighteen. But still, we walked the halls together, being best friends since we met in fifth grade. James was going camping, but he promised he'd come over for dinner when he got back. He never showed. The next three days passed slowly. His parents called the cops, and they sent out a search party. When news that at least a quarter of the police out there had been killed by some kind of wild animal, my heart sank. My hope was lost. James was dead, and I knew it. The next day, I walked to school. I had never dreamt of seeing him again, and yet there he was, leaning back on his motorcycle, looking at people walk by. He was more gorgeous than he'd ever been...which instantly prompted my suspicion._

_"Vicky!" he called upon seeing me. His smile was wide, unnaturally beautiful, but it was the smile I always saw. Friday morning, April the 12th. My best friend was alive, and within the next two short weeks, hell was going to be unleashed. I guess that's what happens when you live out in the storm-ridden Midwest._

James texted me back. He was out hunting. Now that I knew, he had no problem telling me he was killing people to survive. I didn't have a problem with it. I was selfish. As long as he was okay, I could care less about who he was killing.

_That first Friday, he took me back to his place and told me, well, yelled at me and showed me, that he was a vampire. That he'd killed a lot of people, including his parents, and he was only new. He'd expected me to run, expected me to be a new hunt for him since he couldn't control the urge to track and kill, but I stayed. He'd come at me, knocking the couch over in the process, but I stayed still. His eyes were ruby and beautiful. I'd stroked his cheek and told him I didn't care. He'd laughed, then smiled, and then I'd told him that I remembered the time I was twelve and he was fourteen and he came at me the same way and we knocked over the couch that time too. He'd laughed, smiled, and kissed me. It was....extraordinary. The only time James and I had ever kissed, was last year at the Junior prom. It had been a spur-of-the-moment thing....that had quickly ended in us having our first times in the back of his car in the high school parking lot. Not the most romantic thing ever, but it was still....but this, this was no human kiss. His lips, once they touched mine, it felt...addicting. He felt it too, or smelled my blood, I couldn't tell and didn't care. His arms wound around me and he kissed me as hard as his lips could press to mine. It was a real, strong kiss. I had always known I loved James Witherdale, but this almost felt like he loved me too._

As I stood up from rinsing off my toothbrush, I felt a pair of cool hands pressing against my back. He began to massage slowly, and I leaned back into James's touch. My head fell back some as I sighed, "That feels really good."

His hands went to my shoulders before back down my back, rubbing a bit harder, "You're killing yourself with paying attention to homework Victoria." The way his soft, velvety, sultry tenor voice said my whole name...I wanted to scream like a preteen watching American Idol for the first time.

"Maybe I just like your massages" I said, trying to be coy when I felt like this. He chuckled quietly and waited for me to put my toothbrush back and wash the toothpaste-cap goo off before I allowed him to pick me up and sweep me off to my room. His eyes were a vivid ruby still.

He dropped me on my bed, on my back. I bounced a little before settling with a laugh. He looked me over in my pajamas, a smile settling on his lips, "You look stunning."

"Sure" I said, "Because you're so into Skeleanimals and bedhead."

He laughed and climbed up on the bed, getting his hunter-and-prey look in his eyes, "Maybe I am."

"Maybe if you're so into it we could try to go a little overboard..." I said, starting to run my fingers through his hair.

He sighed, a little bit of a throaty purr coming through his sigh. I smiled. He knew I loved that.

"Maybe when I don't want to kill everything in sight my beautiful Victoria" he said, lowering his mouth to my neck. I squirmed some as his cold lips met my warm skin. He looked at me as he drew back.

"God that turns me on" I whispered.

He got a mischievous smile, "I vant to suck your blood."

I gasped theatrically, pretending to faint in mock horror. He laughed openly, laying down beside me. I looked to him, and he smiled, "So...."

"So?" I asked.

"Do you have to go to school Monday?" he asked.

"We have to review for finals. I'm never going to get past Math and Science...." I said.

He put his finger over my lips, "Ditching, my darling, is one of the best things you can do for your health. Come over, I promise I've cleaned up all the blood and gore. Maybe we can try to go overboard some."

His suddenly playful and hungry smile made my heart skip a beat, "Why can't we do it now?"

"I have a feeling you wouldn't be too pleased if I broke your bed" he said, still smiling.

My thoughts took a turn that made me grin. I slid closer to James, locking my arms around his neck, "But we will?"

He laughed, "Oh you and your girly hormones. Yeah, we will."

I smacked his granite shoulder playfully, not hard enough to hurt myself, but he smiled. He put his nose against my neck and inhaled, "You smell so good...I'm glad you don't make me want to kill you."

I smiled, "It's just a habit I guess. After being together so long you're used to all my insanity."

"Vicky, if I wasn't used to your insanity, don't you think I would've had you committed as a child?" he said.

It was my turn to laugh and smile. James smiled and put his cheek against my chest, "So fragile, so human...I love your heartbeat. It feels so...right."

I kept my smile as he closed his eyes and let me play with his hair. I wasn't sure if I knew how he was feeling, but I did know, James was mine alone. The Clyde to my Bonnie. We'd never not be together.


	3. Chapter 2

(to Anne-Sophie: Merci! :D )

Chapter 2

James always had the same bright ruby eyes, every day. He said it was easier to be around people when his eyes were lighter, so he fed to stay calm around me. He promised me, several times over, that he would never hurt me. If he ever got close or attempted to, he was my servant for eternity. I liked the sound of that, so I let him keep doing what he was doing. The way he said 'fed' not 'kill' distinguished things for me. If he was just killing to kill, that was one thing, I would have to stop him, but if he was killing to feed, to keep me safe, I had to let him continue. Why wait and chance it? He was still new at this, I had to give him some slack. I didn't know how long to let him continue though. How long were they considered children in the vampire world? Ten years? Should I let him keep this up for ten years until he had his instincts in control? Their time was hard to separate from mine. Mine, mortal, societal, and human. People changed interests like they changed clothes. The vampire world had...such a beauty. Nothing ever changed. I sort of liked that too. I mused all this to myself as I mechanically got dressed. James would be here to start our charade soon, so we could get out this weekend. I wanted to take my chances with him. Things were exactly the same, he just had new gifts now. It was a blessing that he could stay young and totally gorgeous forever, never have his perfection ruined....

"Victoria?" my mother called, "Can you come here dear?"

I slipped on my Gir sandals and went downstairs. Faded gray skinny jeans hugged my tiny waist, a black Joan Jett and The Blackhearts t-shirt just barely reaching over my chain-link belt. I was lucky I was relatively short, this would've been a mid-drift shirt on half the girls I knew.

"What's up?" I asked, casually.

My mother took a breath, like she was trying to hold herself together. I instantly knew it wasn't a good thing. What happened? Did a priest go crazy and find out James was a vampire? Was James hurt? Had something happened to James?

"They found a body out by the river last night. They just confirmed the identity. The killer tried to light it on fire" my mother said.

I waited in breathless suspense. Was that really James that had sent me those texts back? Was he okay?

"Your father's dead Victoria" she whispered.

A sigh of relief came out of my lips. I dropped to my backside on the stairs, letting her go past. I knew she'd be calling her friends with the news. The doorbell rang, and I sprung to my feet.

I ran over to the door, and James was waiting for me. He leaned on the door frame, so casually, like he wanted to look his sexiest but was denying it at all. A small lock of hair fell out of his ponytail, his face in one of those gorgeous supermodel 'I'm thinking' pouts. He looked too gorgeous for his good.

"Hey" he said, his pout turning into a bright smile.

"Hey" I said, momentarily knocked breathless from his grin.

He walked in, "Nice."

"Thanks" I said.

"Victoria, who is it?" my mother asked, already halfway down the stairs. She and my father had been divorced since I was three. Who cared, in other words? She saw James and stopped dead, "Hello Mr. Witherdale." The way she was saying it, like James was no longer my child best friend, but someone of her interest. She was wearing an insanely slutty black dress. I knew this was the funeral garb.

James rolled his eyes before replying in a pleasant, friendly tone, "Hello Mrs. Sutherland." He put emphasis on her title.

She had a fake laugh, "Oh James, it's Miss!"

He got this look on his face, just like mine. It was our notorious 'shoot me now' look.

"I just came over to ask if Victoria could spend the weekend with me?" he asked. He turned the power of those beautiful ruby eyes on me, knocking me breathless, though I didn't let it show.

"Of course. Tell your parents I said hello, we hardly talk anymore!" she said, more fake laughter.

"I will" James said, before he said, under his breath, knowing I would be able to hear, "or you could." I smiled.

He took a firm hold on my hand, locking our fingers together, and we started off for my room. As we walked in, he was already over on the bed by the time I shut the door, "Well that was a disaster."

"My mother's a slut, sorry" I said.

He cracked a grin, "I already knew, you don't need to apologize." He opened his arms, welcoming me to his side, and I gratefully climbed on the bed next to him, cuddling up. He smiled, "You two are like Eponine and Cosette."

"Not Les Miserable again" I muttered. James had taken an interest in it in Freshman year. Apparently it stuck.

He laughed, "You aren't miserable, are you?"

I looked up at him, "Not when I'm with you, no."

He smiled, as if hearing that pleased him. He had to know so already. He knew I loved him desperately, fully. "Tonight, when you come over, we are going overboard. And you, and I, we will make things work" he said, very gently tracing the waist of my jeans. I wanted to squirm, to tell him now would be better, now I was already halfway to grabbing him and making him kiss me, but his smile was so amused I couldn't unlock my eyes from his beautiful, angelic face.

He looked careful for a minute-there was no other way to describe it. Careful as he judged my reaction. He spoke slowly, "I....love you."

I smiled and climbed up some to kiss him, "I love you too James."

He relaxed at that, and we lay together for a while. I couldn't escape my warm feeling. James had finally told me he loved me. My smile didn't fall until much, much later.


	4. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

_James_

The sound of completely unstifled sobbing and stumbling meant she was wearing down. I'd always wanted to try something like this, ever since Victoria and I sat together for hours, watching endless horror movies. I'd begun to think that was where my-at times-macabre sense of humor came from. Her footfalls slowed as she screamed out, "Jason?!"

Then, it was almost as if...I knew her. Ah, yes. Mandy something....she was one of _them._ The 'in' crowd. She was one of those cheerleading sluts that picked on my girlfriend because they thought they were _'perfect'._ I'd laughed in their faces before, I'd do it again.

"Relax Amanda" I said, stepping out.

Her black, mascara stained tears halted seeing me. Her natural side seemed to come forward as she threw herself at me, "Oh James, I'm so happy to see you!" I pushed her back and she fell on her backside. Before she had time to scream, protest, before she even needed an explination, I tore open her throat, and tasted the warm, bittersweet liquid rushing down my throat.

I went back toward their party, where I'd chased down her and her boyfriend and slaughtered them in the woods beyond the house. No one would miss them. So many smashed bottles of alcohol around...it gave me an idea. These two sufficed for tonight, but it was always better to kill two birds with one stone. Or rather, close to forty birds with one well-placed match.

I heard their screams well beyond the human range of hearing. To the human world, only the pillar of dark smoke would signal anything wrong. The bodies would be found in the morning, I was sure. But, no one would ever suspect something quite like tonight...

_Victoria_

My overnight bag rested on my bed. The basic essentials for spending the weekend with your boyfriend within. He hated anything that obscured my smell in any way, so all of that was out, but that didn't mean I didn't have the things I needed, or something to at least _look_ sexy in.

I slipped on black flats to go with the green, corset-ed mini dress that I wore. My hair was held back with a big clip in the back, pulling it away from my face. I hoped James would like this.

The doorbell ringing said it all, not to mention my lazy mother getting ready to go out, "VICTORIA! JAMES IS HERE!"

I took the stairs down two at a time, yelling my goodbyes before she had a chance to finish dressing. I was out the door and onto the porch, and running into his granite chest, all at the same time.

He smiled down at me, his face angelic, "In a hurry? We have all weekend." He eased the door shut behind me, hearing the lock click. I felt my face pink with blush. He lowered his lips to my neck, kissing delicately, "I just couldn't wait to have you in my arms again. It seems the feeling was mutual."

I sighed, "It was."

He drew up from my neck to kiss my lips. Then, the kiss became something more. He picked me up against the door, putting my legs around his waist. He really did feel like all stone. For a minute, I wondered what was happening to me, as I felt like I was flying. Then, my back was on brick. I pulled back, and I found myself staring at the small, darkened porch that was on the backyard of James's house.

"Shall we continue inside?" he asked. He smiled, and it was angelic. He let me down and I took his hand, "We shall."

He eased the sliding glass door open, and then slid it shut behind us. He drew the blinds over it and closed them, blocking out the slivers of moonlight coming occasionally through the clouds. We were in total darkness. His arms wrapped around me, so I didn't have to see. His lips were on mine again, harder this time. His hands, like ice, slipped up my legs and picked me up. He didn't need to encourage me to wrap my legs around his waist this time. I clung to him, my arm around his neck while my other traced down his chest through his shirt. He purred, his tongue parting my lips forcefully. I let out a moan as his tongue invaded my mouth, his hand on my lower back pushing me to him more. He was moving, as swift and silent as a ghost, and then I felt a bed under me. He gently started to unlock my legs from his waist, and I made a noise of protest.

"Easy baby" he coaxed, laying me flat, "Let me give you some light, okay?"

I sighed, "What's the point in arguing with a vampire? You're still stronger than me any day."

I was surprised to smell vanilla as he lit a candle. Then another. He lit four total before stopping and blowing out his match, "Victoria, I would not tell you what to do. You're here now." He went to my side, holding out his hand, "May I?"

It took me a moment to grasp he was asking for my overnight bag. I handed it over and watched him put it in his closet. He closed it and walked back over, "Now, as I was saying. You're here now." His hands went to the buttons on his shirt, opening them one by one. When he had his chest exposed, the sleeves barely holding his shoulders, he opened his arms to me, "Now, you call the shots. I'm yours."

_(A/N- cliffy!! and I'll be updating this every other day because of my time issues lol. It'll alternate between this and the Rina series two. Review, and I just may write more!)_


	5. Chapter 4

(Anne-Sophie: Merci!! I'm sorry I don't speak much french, I just want to thank you SO much for being so great!)

Chapter 4

I stared at the beautiful planes of his chest in the candle light. It was less something out of The Notebook, and more like Dracula. I got up off the bed and went to him, resting my hands on his chest. He looked at me, such a beautiful smile on his face that it broke my heart. I slowly ran my hands along his granite like chest, over his abs and back up. His smile turned sensual as he leaned in to kiss me. I kissed him more than willingly, my hands finding his shoulders to push his shirt all the way off. He reached around my back and unlaced the corset on the dress. He let it fall, and stepped back some, breaking our kiss. He took in the solid green with goth black lace matching underwear I had on, and his eyes widened considerably, "Wow."

I smiled, moving to him, "I'm still nothing compared to you."

"You will be, one day" he said, lifting me off the floor. He held my legs up, bringing my neck to his level and kissing softly, "I plan on letting you decide when. Whenever you're ready, I'm more than willing to make you mine for eternity."

I smiled at the sound of that, and then his tongue brushed my collarbone. A moan slipped out of my lips before I could stop it.

He chuckled, "Mm, that sounds good. Less talk, more sex." I beamed as he put me back down on the bed. His hands went to his jeans, and I stopped him, "I want to do it."

He smiled, as beautiful as ever, and he lowered his lips to mine, "Whatever you wish. Tonight is your night, my Queen Of The Damned."

"You are not damned" I muttered, opening his belt.

He sighed and slid his hands up my arms. I wanted to freeze, but didn't stop. Once his jeans were open, I shoved them off. He laughed some, seeing my obvious stare. I honestly wondered how the guys in our school hadn't ever had some sort of dirty thoughts concerning James. Or the girls. The guys were luckier, they saw him nearly naked frequently. Until he'd deciding ditching gym was better for his health than actually participating.

He slid his arms around me, unlatching the clasp on my bra, then letting that fall. I saw his eyes warm as he put his hand over my heart, "There, nothing to keep me from this now." He caressed the spot with the back of his hand, his eyes almost glowing to me. I reached out to push off his last remaining piece of clothing when he looked at me, "You are the one good thing that has ever come of my life."

My eyes began to water, "Really?" Then I realized, this wasn't having sex, this was making love. He was really in love with me too.

"Really. Truly honestly, with all of my heart do I promise you, you are the one for me." He let me push off his boxers before climbing up on the bed with me. He slipped off my panties as easily as it would've been for him to tear them off. He took my face in his hands, "I love you Vicky."

Tears I hadn't wanted to come touched my eyelashes and fell down my cheeks, "I love you too James. More than anything."

He smiled and kissed either of my cheeks, kissing away my tears, "It's the time for love, not tears." He slid his arms around me, moving me to my back, and kissed my neck softly, slowly, "This should've been our first time, not in the back of my dad's Mustang."

I smiled, "Let's just not count that then."

He kissed my collarbone, then his gaze returned to mine. He was gentle as he shifted his weight so he was hovering over me, positioning himself so he wouldn't hurt me. Not a trace of darkness were in the eyes I loved so much. I reached up and stroked his cheek, seeing him smile. His lips locked with mine as he made that first movement, making me warm inside.

It wasn't until hours later that we actually _stopped_. I was breathless, and so was he. I turned over and found my legs too bruised to move. I let out a small whimper, not having expected that. His eyes instantly filled with worry, "Are you okay? Did I hurt you?"

"No, I think I hurt myself" I said with a small chuckle. It didn't fix the worry in his eyes.

I kissed his neck, softly, then up to his jaw, as high as I could reach at this point, in the position I was in, being so damn short, "I'm fine. Stop worrying. It'll all be better in the morning."

He chuckled quietly, "What ever would the excuse to your mother be Monday night otherwise?"

"You and I had some fun exploring different things in the bedroom" I said, "Which is sort of true now that I think of it. I can't think of too many girls that are in love with vampires."

He laughed quietly, "You need sleep." He began to stroke my messy curls and I laughed, "No, I need to cuddle up to you, then sleep."

He shifted so I could lay on his chest, his cheek on my head. It was so much more romantic than I'd ever thought James was capable. He slipped the sheet up over us and he held me close, stroking my hair. His voice, a smooth, beautiful tenor came from above my head. He was singing me to sleep....

_"Let's hear it for America's Suitehearts_

_I must confess_

_I'm in love with my own sins_

_Let's hear it for America's Suitehearts_

_I must confess_

_I'm in love with my own sins_

_Two can bow and pretend that you don't know you're a legend_

_Time, time, time hasn't told any one else yeah_

_Let my love loose again..."_

His voice drifted in my mind. He was singing our song. Our song from the prom, our song since the day either of us heard it. That night, I dreamed of James Witherdale, for the countless time.


	6. Chapter 5

Chapter 5

My consiousness slowly faded back, and I opened my eyes. Barely coherent, I could make out James's face, peaceful as he stroked my hair. The veil was down around the canopy of the wide bed. I kissed the pale, hard muscle of his shoulder and his gaze flickered down to me, "Morning sunshine." He moved his hand from my hair to my cheek, stroking my face.

"Morning" I said.

His lips pressed to my forehead as he leaned down, "Are you hungry?"

"Famished" I said, rolling off him to lay across the bed flat. His eyes swept over my body and I looked down. Some purple bruises were on my sides, but healing well. James reached out and touched my side, his fingers light and careful, brushing on my skin, "I'm sorry."

"Don't be" I said, taking his hand, "I loved it."

He moved back to hover over me, "You liked that? I could've damn well killed you."

"You didn't" I whispered. He looked angry, and I whispered, "I love you James."

He lowered his lips to mine, his lips soft, "I'm sorry love. I don't mean to be so...overprotective. I just love you."

I nodded, trying to press my lips back to his. He kissed me back more than willingly, keeping his hands on the bed near me. He grasped the blankets like he was going to tear them apart, and his mouth moved from my lips to my neck. He kissed under my ear, then down my neck, pausing near my pulse. His lips were warm, his tongue brushing my neck, then his teeth. He almost seemed as if he were going to bite me, his teeth on my throat, some pressure there, and then he broke away. He was on the other side of the bed before I could blink, and at the sudden lack of his arms, I fell to the bed with a quiet 'oomph'.

"I'm sorry" he whispered as he gathered me back into his arms, "I can't control myself with you."

"No. Bite me. Maybe you'll accept that I can take all you've got when I'm like you" I said back, quietly.

He kissed my lips, "You already have all that's mine. You have my heart, you have my soul, you are the every thought on my mind, and you very clearly have my body. Etcetera, etcetera, etcetera. I love you." His lips pressed to my forehead and I sighed, "I'm sorry."

"Don't be" he said, his lips pressing lightly to mine. The kiss only began to grow into something more when my stomach growled, rather loudly.

He laughed, "Breakfast time."

"No" I protested quietly, "Not yet, please."

He sighed, lifting me effortlessly in his arms, "Come on darling, time for you to eat now." He whisked me down the stairs, despite my playful shouts of protest, and into the kitchen. He set my feet down on the floor and walked to the refridgerator, "What would you like?"

"Anything" I commented. "Sunlight doesn't affect you."

"No. But I do look rediculous" he said.

"How so?" I asked.

"I....sparkle" he said.

A startled laugh burst from my lips, "You _sparkle?!_" I laughed a little more before he turned to me. He looked sheepish, like he should be blushing, "I'm serious."

I stopped laughing and went to him. I put my arms around him, "Sorry. It's just a little....weird."

It was his turn to laugh, "I've always been weird, haven't you noticed?"

I gave him a kiss on his jaw, "I know. And somehow, I've always loved you."

He put his arm around my back, his lips pressing to mine once more, just as he set the pot on the pan on the stove to make eggs. It was so...natural, the way he just knew what I wanted. His lips touched mine once more before he whispered in my ear, "Love you."

"Love you more" I whispered back.

He smiled, and both of his arms wrapped around my back, my head resting on his shoulder.


	7. Chapter 6

Chapter 6

Monday came faster than ever, it seemed. James was able to control himself, that much was clear. He'd had the most self control of any vampire I'd ever seen. Ever.

The headline on the front page of the paper jumped out at me.

**Serial Murder and Serial Arson--Connected?**

I skimmed the article for a minute. Nearly half the graduating class died in the fire of a house party. They couldn't say that was an arson, since it seemed clear it was a cigarette hitting alcohol that started the fire, but there was speculation. This was the party Friday? I was glad I hadn't gone. Hell, who would've invited me anyway? The names for that were listed on another page, but I skimmed over the article. Two more arsons, an abandoned building they refused to save, and a building almost catching fire from a dumpster-found filled with twenty three bodies. Twenty three. That couldn't be James. He wasn't that thirsty. The building had....oh my lord.

Ninety two bodies found. None identified.

A knot formed in my stomach. I stuck the paper in my bag and went for the door.

"No school today!" my mother yelled down. There was only no school on holidays, not just for no reason...

"All the kids that died are getting honored with a day off. You guys are supposed to see an assembly or something tomorrow" she told me as she came down the stairs, ready for work, "I have to work, so you'll be able to fend for yourself today?"

"Yeah. Of course" I said. I sat down. I flipped to the pages with the names. Mandy Hansen, Jason Tanner...all popular kids at my school. The entire 'in' crowd got taken out, in the blink of an eye. One name caught my eye, that made me stop.

Bree Tanner.

My best friend.

Bree...had gone to the party, with her baseball player boyfriend. I remembered now. My eyes filled with tears that began to fall, "Oh my god!"

My mother walked over. A skim down the names. The last two, Bree and her boyfriend, Riley. My mother's eyes filled with sadness. Bree was a sophmore. We were never supposed to be friends, but when she first came to the school as a freshman, she and I hit it off...now, she was dead. She had a whole life, a dream, goals, plans with Riley....I couldn't fathom anything else but the names on these pages. I flipped to the next page. The list of names who had died in the 'animal attack'. My father's was listed. The dumpster. The building said TBA next to it. Mentally, pieces began to click. Things James would've done, only for me. My mother gave me a comforting hug and told me to call her if I needed her, and left me in my hysterics. I did the only thing I could think to do. I got up, and with tears falling, ran down the street to James's house. I banged on the door and yelled for him.

He opened on my first hard knock, hearing my voice call for him, and he looked bewildered as he looked at me, "Victoria?"

"Why?!" I screamed, moving inside. I pushed the door shut behind us.

"Why what?" he asked.

"Why did you _kill_ them?! Bree! and Riley! Everyone!" I screamed.

"Bree...was there" James said quietly, realization on his face.

Then I knew. I loved him, but he killed my best and only real friends. I sunk to my knees on the floor, the paper falling out of my hands. James picked it up, folding it under an arm as he went to hold me. I pushed him away, falling back against the door. I sunk there and cried, my eyes as closed as possible. I didn't want to see him, didn't want to know.

_James_

The TV was on, nothing of importance when I heard the first desperate, hard knock on my door. Victoria's voice sounded choked and miserable as she shouted my name. I knew something was wrong, so I moved to the door as quickly as possible.

She looked terrible. Her face was red, tear streaked. She looked...distraught.

"Victoria?" I asked.

"Why?!" she screamed, and pushed me back. She shoved the door shut.

I moved a bit toward her, "Why what?"

"Why did you _kill_ them?! Bree! and Riley! Everyone!" she screamed at me. I was taken aback. She knew of my killings? I noticed the paper in her hand, how it was clutched on the page of the names from the house fire.

"Bree...was there" I said.

She sunk to her knees on the floor, dropping the paper. I picked it up under an arm and went to hold her. She pushed against my chest and fell back, sinking against the door and crying. She probably didn't realize how she curled into herself.

"Victoria" I whispered, going toward her, "I am so sorry baby. I didn't know."

She stayed in her position, crying. I knew she didn't want me to touch her, but I slid her onto my lap against the opposite wall, and made her rest her head against me. I knew the last thing she wanted was comfort from her friends' killer, but it was all I had to offer.

I put my head on hers and thought.


	8. Chapter 7

Chapter 7

_Victoria_

I'd felt it when he'd shifted me to sit on his lap. I'd heard his words, though they meant nothing to me now. He held me, stroking my hair, and after a long time, I found myself on the couch, and James nowhere in sight.

"James?" I asked, shocked out of my sobs.

He returned, standing next to me, "What?"

I looked at him. He looked...not angry, but hurt. Some little part of me told me that was a good thing, but the vast majority of my heart broke seeing him look so hurt.

I stood up and he backed away.

"James..." I said, quietly.

"Go home Victoria" he said.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean it like...yes I did, but James, my best friend is dead. I think I have a little bit of a right to be pissed off right now" I said.

"Yes, you do" he said, "And I have a right to be alone. So go home. I'll see you later."

"Promise?" I asked.

He looked at me, "I'm not sure if it's a promise I can keep."

He walked me home, made sure my door was locked, and then left.

I didn't see James for three months after that.

Graduation was on the horizon with less than three weeks until freedom, and every thought in my mind hadn't been the joy of others'. My best friend was dead, and my reason for existence deserted me. My nights were plagued with sleeplessness and nightmares, mostly sleeplessness from thinking of James, and nightmares of Bree.

That one morning, it all worked out to my advantage.

I woke up screaming, tears already falling down my face. My mother was gone, and it was the first day of finals. I didn't care. I got my shoes and started walking. My feet found the path more easily than my mind.

That nagging voice in the back of my head said that ending it wouldn't do anything. He'd still be out there killing and not caring about me.

I didn't care either.

I saw the edge of the quarry. No water beneath. I took a breath, pausing. Was I really going to kill myself? The choice had been made since James abandoned me. I took another breath, whispering to the sky, "James, I love you. I'm sorry."

I took off in a dead sprint, jumping over. A scream tore from my lungs. I felt something grasp my wrist, I collided with something, but it wasn't the ground. I opened my eyes.

"That is the single _stupidest_ thing you have ever done!" James chided.

I couldn't believe it. In three months...nothing had changed. His hair was a little dirtier, he was shirtless, shoeless, and his jeans were worn. He locked my arms around his neck, and he started to climb. I put my face into his neck, and broke down crying. I felt myself being placed on soft grass, and his arms wound around me, "Don't cry Victoria. Please. You're killing me."

"No...you killed me....don't ever think you're leaving again!" I yelled, locking my arms around the back of his neck and climbing up onto his lap.

He sighed, "Baby, I never left. I was always close by."

"No you weren't" I sobbed.

He took my face in his hands, "Victoria, I left for the better part of a week, and the...pain, it was too much. I had to come back. I was afraid that you hated me for killing them."

His voice didn't sound the same to me as it had.

"I could never" I whispered.

He stroked my face, "You don't know how it was killing me, wanting to comfort you when I saw your heart breaking...every time you woke up screaming, I wanted to be there to comfort you. I had to keep telling myself this was a good thing...what the hell do I know?" He started to kiss me, his lips on mine. Soft, gentle, small kisses punctuated places in his words. I slid my arms around him, "James, you can't leave me here. Not for any reason. Not anymore."

"I can't bring you with me. I'd hurt you" he said.

"Then don't. You're always in control of yourself. Bite me. Keep me" I said.

He stopped kissing me to look at me, "You'd do this so we could be together?"

"I'd sell my soul for you James Witherdale. Turning into a vampire isn't that bad" I said, shrugging.

"Oh, you have no idea" he said, in a cryptic-but-playful way.

"It wouldn't be as bad as you not being close to me" I said.

"That is true. Hell could seem like a reprieve compared to that" he said.

"When?" I asked.

"Whenever you're ready" he said.

"Come home with me. Please" I begged.

"Of course" he said, lifting me into his arms. He took a few steps, without the wind, and he said, "I'm sorry."

"Don't be. Just don't ever do it again" I said.

He laughed as the wind began to swish past us, and I could hear him say 'Never.'


	9. Chapter 8

Chapter 8

What if he didn't really love me? It was a thought that had run through my mind over and over again.

I'd been his best friend for years. We'd always loved each other, but sometimes, I was sure my feelings were different. For months after James had first become a vampire, I'd cried myself to sleep over him. How my warm, loving, good best friend who I needed like an absolute drug, who I'd secretly loved for years, had become cold and heartless. My heart had always ached, and my pain still ebbed from my heart even as I looked into his crimson eyes. He still had a soul, I had to believe that. He was still my James, he had to be.

_Every time I'd hear the words in his change, my tears would run free. Part of my soul had been taken from me. With him changed, part of me had died. Never so much in my life had I cried._

Tears streamed down my face when we talked, and I kept my voice even, keeping away my emotions. I hated it, but it just wasn't me.

"Vicky?" he asked quietly, touching my shoulder, "Ready?"

The cold of his hand made me want to shiver, but the tears were already falling, "As I'll ever be."

He took a hold of my chin, making me look at him. His soul flashed across his eyes for a moment before that fateful bite. Maybe he really would love me once I was like him. I didn't know, it was too soon to tell. It was still another 'what if'.

His lips lowered to my neck, very gently. I couldn't believe I was just standing here. I felt his teeth, like razors on my skin, about to bite...

Something hard slammed on the door. My head snapped up, so did James's.

"Victoria!" my mother shouted. Oh hell, what now?

The heavy sound hit again, and then the door cracked. I screamed and jumped back, pushing James with me.

"He's a vampire!" my mother yelled. Some guy was with her. Her new boyfriend maybe? I didn't know and didn't care, but he was rushing my boyfriend, and the instinct I felt it-I knew James was going to get hurt-I leapt in front of him with a shout of 'NO!'

The machete made a sickening sound as it went into my chest.

I wasn't aware...was that blood soaking the front of my shirt? Yes. Was it supposed to soak that fast? Hell no. I felt my legs give out quickly, and I fell back into James's arms.

"Vicky? Vicky? God, say something" he said. His eyes weren't black with thirst, not like I expected them to be. I was vaguely aware of my mother screaming in the background. I looked into James's ruby eyes and whispered, "Now. Please."

"Vicky-" he began.

"You promised me forever" I whispered. My eyes stayed on his face until my vision abruptly went black.

_James_

A thousand and one thoughts ran in my head as I leaned in to bite her. Was she ready? Was she doing this out of desperation to keep me with her? She had to know by now I'd never leave her, not really. A thud at the door I recognized instantly as a boot. I heard Victoria's mother call her name, and then the door cracked. Victoria grabbed ahold of me, and I pulled her back into my side. They knew what I was. What I hadn't expected was Victoria's sudden act of valiance, stepping in front of me and yelling no at the top of her lungs.

What made my heart lurch, stomach twist, and I didn't care how sweet the smell was, was the sound of the man's knife going into my love's chest. Her blood soaked her shirt within seconds, and within those same seconds she dropped into my arms. I sunk to the floor on my knees with her, "Vicky? Vicky? God say something" I said to her.

"Now. Please" she whispered, her voice soft and begging.

"Vicky-" I began to tell her.

"You promised me forever" she whispered. Her eyes, so beautiful, stared into mine. Her head fell to the side, eyes closing. She was loosing too much blood. It was an instant reaction; I pulled the knife from her chest and put my mouth over the wound. Yes, she had severe internal damage, but the number one thing was to keep as much blood in her as I could. She would've loved the caress if she'd be conscious, but once her wound was closed I took ahold of her dainty wrist and bit down. A little blood flowed, but I sealed the wound quickly. She was still in her pajamas, her sneakers on. I bit the crevice of her elbow and sealed my venom in there. The other wrist, the other elbow. I turned her head, very gently, and lifted her neck to me. I wished my eyes could fill with tears as hers had, but I kissed her soft lips once before I whispered, "Forever."

I sunk my teeth into the swell of her throat. Her blood already had the taste of my venom, but with more in her system, it was never too bad. I sealed that wound, and looked up. They both were staring at me, and I glared at them, "Are you proud of yourself?"

"No" her mother whispered. Tears were running down her face. I didn't care. I gathered Victoria into my arms, her heart beating hard and fast, her body was going to react to the venom any minute now.

"I'll be back to pack up all her belongings to take over to our place when she's through the change successfully" I said, "And you better hope neither of you stand in my way, because I will kill you for what you did to her."

She moved out of my way and I took off for the house.

No sooner had I set Victoria down on my bed than had she begun to scream, "James! It burns..."

"Shh, hush love, it's okay" I coaxed quietly, "I love you. You're going to be okay."

"James!!" she screamed, her voice rising to a high soprano octave I never knew human females could reach.

I kissed her forehead, "Shh. I'm here. Shh."

Whimpers slipped out of her as she bit her lips.

I kissed her lips very softly, "I'm here." Though I didn't know who would be the one suffering the most for her three days of burning; she or I.


	10. Chapter 9

(A/N- Once again, Merci to Anne-Sophie! Thank you for being a wonderful reader!)

Chapter 9

Her tortured cries would come every so often, but it was mostly her whimpers that drove me insane. She gave these little whimpers and whines of pain, like a wounded animal. I wanted to cry. I whispered to her, telling her and myself that it was for the best. That I loved her and always wanted her forever. I was sure she didn't hear me. It was an agonizing three days. I forced myself to stay at her bedside, no matter what any cause for anything would be. After two days and two nights passed, I knew she would be through the change soon, and I had to clean her up still.

Her whines were increasing in time, coupled with twitches and the occasional thrash. She seemed to be regaining herself, slowly but surely.

Being careful of her, I gently tore the back of her black tank top, slipping it off her arms. I looked at the smooth, porcelain skin that had once been a deep, life-threatening wound and sighed. Her blood was dry on most of her skin.

In less than one of her heartbeats, I was back with a wet cloth to wipe her off with. The bloody top was stiff, so I just let it fall to the floor. I started on her stomach, and tried to control my mind. She was just so beautiful, whether she was covered in blood or not. I looked to her face, stroking the curve of her lower lip. It seemed like after three days of utter hell, she'd get some rest before the worst part. It would be the last sleep she'd ever have, so I wanted her to enjoy it. The stroking of my cloth became softer, more tender as I reached the spot the knife had gone in. Her skin was perfect, flawless, and I knew inside her damage was repaired too, but I still treated it with extra care. I leaned over her and sighed, "You silly girl, getting in front of a knife for _me."_

I pressed a kiss to her lips and finished getting the blood off her. As gently as before, I dried her off and lifted her small frame to slip into one of my shirts. She didn't move, but I swore I saw her lips twitch. She was developing the senses, I knew. She knew my scent and she knew I was there. I stroked her face, "Sleep angel. While you can."

She got more restless under my hands and I knew that it was coming to an end. She thrashed some and let out a scream. I held her arms steady, taking her hands, getting her to stop clawing at herself and everything around her.

"Vicky, baby, baby it's okay" I said, holding her still.

She let out an even louder scream than before, thrashing wildly. I didn't care if she hurt me, I'd deserve it by now. I climbed on top of her and pulled her against my chest, stopping her from hurting herself. Her knee collided with my side and I hissed a breath, "Damn!"

Her thrashing calmed within a few minutes and then so did her heartbeat. I climbed over her, pressing my ear to her chest to her the final beats. Like the final notes of a song.

Her heart stopped, and I waited. I didn't have to wait more than a few minutes until her gorgeous ruby eyes opened, "James?" Her voice, as soft and sweet as it had always been, was just more musical. I smiled. This was the girl I kept my whole human life in my memories for, that I would die for.

"Hey baby" I said, leaning over her and kissing her forehead, "You look beautiful."

She got up, slowly, as if she were testing herself. She ran to one side of the room and back in less than the blink of a human's eye. She beamed. She used that speed to get into my bathroom and looked at herself in the mirror, "Holy shit. Was I always this...?"

"Sexy?" I offered.

She gave me a sly smile, "You think we can break the bed?"

I laughed, "Once an eternal kitten, always an eternal kitten. Get over here gorgeous."

She complied, running at me with a shout of laughter. She tackled me onto my bed, our lips pressing together. Or, rather, she tackled me over the bed. We landed on the floor with a louder than loud thud, and Victoria busted up in giggles, "Oh I love this."

"I had a feeling you'd love hurting me" I said, rubbing my head.

"That hurt?" she asked, shocked.

"The tackle too" I said, "You don't know your own strength right now."

"Sorry" she said apologetically.

"Never apologize" I said, kissing her lips gently, "Besides, let's go see if we can break my parents' bed first. I kind of like this one."

She laughed and took off toward the room, saying behind her, "I'm already there!"

With a laugh, I went after her. A part of my mind playfully asked what monster had I created? The other witty part of me replied with the simple answer: a young vampire.


	11. Chapter 10

Chapter 10

I smiled at Victoria after we'd done such a good job destroying my late parent's bedroom in its entirety. The dressers were smashed, their contents spilling onto the floor, the bed nothing more than smashed, broken wood everywhere and the mattress was laying half-on the floor at an odd angle. The granite countertop in the bathroom along with the stone tiles in the shower were both cracked, though not severely. Apparently it was true, women could have a one track mind too.

"God you are so good when you're not holding back" she murmured, planting kisses along my jaw. I smiled at the feeling of her warm-not as warm, but pleasantly warm-body in my arms and I whispered to her, "You give as much as you receive darling."

She laughed a bubbly laugh, smiling, "So when do we get tired?"

"Never. You never have to sleep in this new life. I'll teach you everything" I promised her.

She smiled brightly, "I'd like that."

"I know you would."

_Victoria_

My name means Victory in Latin, but what a conquest! James's explination of all this power....and not one thing sounds better than the words 'eternal love'. As soon as his words ended, his lips found mine once more, and he smiled, "Ready to go hunt for the first time beautiful?"

I smiled, "With you, I'm ready for anything."

That I was.

_The End_

(A/N- Thanks to all my awsome readers & reviewers, you guys rock! :D Till next time!)


End file.
